Lockdown is over, but due to precaution during May, I transferred my courses online. There were some unexpected insights. Apart from the fact that online is excellent and functions quite well, I often had a feeling that people hear better what I am saying. Despite years of talking and explaining, turning the spirituality upside down is sometimes so radical and different from everything you can find in this colorful field, that many people simply do no hear – the message does not come through; the blockages and patterns of thinking are simply too strong.

But, here and there, thigs change and clear insight appear. Those are the most precious moments.

After the NLF Debox online course, KM wrote: “In the world of spirituality, self-knowing was always very important. ‘Know thyself, and you will know the world,’ etc. Well, maybe the opposite is true. ? After all that I heard on NLF Debox, it seems that self-knowing is impossible, or at least not necessary at all. The person, if she is truly free, does not know how she will behave in some situation; she does not know what state she will be in, and what kind of abilities will have. Since everyone is all and everyone caries all in himself, EVERYTHING is truly possible. The one who says that he knows himself truly knows only his patterns, isn’t it so? In the end, what is left for us is constant EXPERIENCING and constant WONDERING. Wondering over people, nature, events, things… and ourselves. And enjoyment, of course. The end of the story.”

What do you think about that?

Being judged as different usually bear heavy consequences in matters of social interactions. There are many reasons why you should want to blend in, and very few if any, why you should stand apart from what is considered normal. Nevertheless, that is exactly what will happen if you give in to the call of freedom.

The end of the spiritual path is marked by attraction to absolute freedom while our life is still following the old ways of the human condition.

 

When it ends; when you are really out of the picture, there is no telling in what direction life will take whatever there is left from you: your body, your mind, and your heart, not yours anymore, but still here, still present like a drop in the ocean of consciousness.

 

You will not know, but the knowledge will be here: life is consciousness, and there is nothing else but consciousness. You were that, and everything you experienced was that. And now, when you are just a remembrance of a shadow, all that is left is consciousness.

But still, if you are the master, why not make a combination of words and meanings that will reveal the truth to the eager listener? Yeah, I am pursuing that idea myself. Again and again, I am creating a new combination of meanings in the hope that, if someone is listening, those meanings will somehow create a wide enough space in his or her mind for the truth to be seen. Obviously, I am trying to that right now, in spite of full awareness that my efforts are futile.

Master or not, your words will never transfer the truth to the one who does not know it himself. That sad fact created an institution of a muni – a silent enlightened master. Obviously again, I am not a muni. It is a boring state, although I can appreciate its advantages. For example, there is no chance to be misinterpreted or wrongly understood. Furthermore, anyone can make anything from your silence and appreciate your wisdom, although you might have none. Silence saves you from contradictions, disagreements, conflicts, confrontations, and all kinds of other unpleasant situations. Nice, but boring, as I said.

Life wants me to speak (and write) so I am doing it. Unfortunately, the topic I found by far most interesting is the Truth. An impossible situation, don’t you think? Yes, it is. But, well, what can a man do, but do what makes him a man?

I want to tell you the Truth.

But I can’t.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t. The Truth is not to be told.

Let me explain to you why.

First, we are not talking about the definition of the truth, right? Because you know what the truth means. You knew it from your childhood, from the moment someone lied to you for the first time. Right then you pulled up the understanding of the truth from the deepest realm of your mind. You don’t remember that moment, of course, but it surely happened. Nobody thaught you what the truth is. You knew it because you were a conscious being. A child, but nevertheless, a conscious being.

So, what is that secret of the truth you knew then, as you know it now?

No secret, actually. It is as simple as simple gets. The truth is that what is, and not that what isn’t; because that what isn’t, is a lie. The truth is how it is, and not how it seems it is; because how it seems it is, is a lie.

Simple. The meaning of the truth is simple. And you know what it is. You knew it always.

So, when you ask me to tell you the truth, you have something else in mind, not the explanation of what the truth is. Although you know what the truth is, you are not sure how to apply that knowledge to the world around you. You see things but are they real? Can you rely on your perception? You hear words, but should you believe their meaning? Who is lying to you? What is, and what is not?

It’s not the truth you are having problem with; it’s the ability to discern the false from the true. That is what you are lacking. And since you lack that ability, you are asking the one who, you believe, have it.

Me. You are asking me. Since I am talking (and writing) about the illusion, true reality, and freedom from lies and false ideas, I have to know, right? So, tell me Adrian, is karma an illusion? What about love? Is love an illusion, too? The world we live in, is it just a mist, a cloud of thoughts, a hologram? Who is the true ruler of our life? Financial conspiracy, a spiritual mafia, a demonic hierarchy? A flower, a bird, a child, an emotion… are all that just nothing; a flickering of a dreamy consciousness not really ours?

You have a right to ask, of course, and I can answer you anything that comes to my mind (that’s my right), but here comes the tricky part. Since you don’t know it by yourself, you will have to decide about the truth of whatever it is you have heard from me (or from anyone else). Right? You will hear my answer (any answer), and you will have to decide if it is the truth or a lie.

How to the hell you will do that? You don’t have an ability to discern the truth from a lie, remember? That is why you were asking about it in the first place. If you had that ability, you would look and see it for yourself. There would be no need for asking anyone else (including me).

So, what is your position now? You have a choice to a) believe my answer and b) don’t believe my answer. Believing and not believing are the same thing. Believing is NOT KNOWING.

You may believe (or disbelieve) my answer because you (don’t) like the way I look, or talk, or scratch my ear, or something. You may believe (or disbelieve) my answer because it contradicts everything you believed (or disbelieved) your entire life. In short, your believing is completely irrelevant to the truth. Worst, it is in any case, a lie. English word BELIEVING is very peculiar and informative by structure: BE LIE. If you just believe you are in a lie.

From that point on, things get even trickier. When you believe (in whatever), you are creating a lie. The human mind has a strange ability to project a reality it wishes to live in or a reality it thinks (believes) is right. Due to that ability (it is called maya in advaita philosophy) we can convince ourselves in anything, and that anything will become our reality. When we believe, we become a lie, and our life turns into illusion.

A muni does not want you to live in an illusion. That’s why s/he is silent. S/he knows that whatever s/he says, you will either believe or disbelieve. In both cases, you will create a lie. No thank you, thinks a muni. Silence is better. In silence, there is at least a chance that you will not mess up things terribly, but only a little.

I can do that. Be silent, I mean. In many cases, I am. When you ask me about the truthfulness of any particular idea, fact, or a thing, I will be silent. What’s the point in feeding your need for creating an illusion you can believe in? Silence is so much better.

But if you ever ask me HOW to develop the ability to see the truth for yourself, to discern between the illusion and the reality… Well, then we can break our silence and start talking.

He didn’t finish his degree study in Madras, because he concluded that mind doesn’t exist. His philosophy didn’t change much from these early days. It just developed into some brutal, no-bullshit approach to (or should I say against) spirituality.

Who the hell knows what happened to him during his calamity? It was a physiological thing, that’s for sure. That’s how he describes it, and according to that, his body started to function differently. There is no way to repeat such a situation. He said that, and obviously, he was right. It was a mutation of a sort — an anomaly.

The effects of those processes combined with his already established disgust for spirituality made the U.G. picture we know. What he was talking about was not the result of enlightenment, but his life background. He already knew all these things before his “calamity.”

What to think about insisting that people should not listen to him? If you exclude that very statement, yes, I would say that nothing that he said is usable and in any way worth listening. But if you include the statement “don’t listen to me,” then you are left confused, trapt in the paradox. Perhaps, that is the most intriguing part of U.G. phenomenon. That’s why people was coming to listen to him, and that’s why they are still reading his words in the books.

He came out, at least in words, like a people hater. Seemingly he didn’t have any tolerance for their affairs, considering them self-centered and thus not worthy of concern.

On the other hand, he was saying that he felt the movement of the Moon and other cosmic happenings. Apparently, his sensitivity was heightened, but not for human affairs. That is what I found strange. Or, to be precise, I found it odd because it contradicts experience I have.

To continue reading click on Pay 10 (micropayment of 10 XLM). If you are not sure what is these about and how to do it (it is simple), you can found out about SatoshiPay system, Lumen cryptocurrency, and detailed instruction how to use it in the article SATOSHIPAY MICROPAYMENT SYSTEM.

A heightened level of sensitivity in the body is something I can vouch for. It happens merely when the body is left to its own intelligence. The driver (ego, self) is the one who dumps the impulses from the outside and superimposes to them the impulses from himself. The result is dumbness.

But, once this is gone, EVERYTHING matters. The state of human affairs is as vivid and as palpable as would be the boiling oil spilled over your skin.

Matter a fact, U.G. once said he feels people thoughts “like other people feel the humidity.” And that is something I know very well. I suffer enough because of that, and I would do anything to avoid it.

There is no sure way to know what people are thinking and feeling in particular, with all the details. But in general, an enlightened body can feel the direction of those thoughts, their shape or taste. The enlightened body can smell them, just like you would smell the rotten garbage pile in your neighbor’s backyard.

That’s why I found strange U.G. lack of concern for what will happen to humanity. I could quickly agree with him that we are the worst species ever (at least the worst we know about). There are none so bad and so dangerous as us. Also, I could quickly agree with him that we are doomed and that there is no salvation for monsters like us.

If I would say any word or show any action towards helping humanity, towards creating a better world or some such things, it would be because I am sick from what people are doing. It’s not just a word. I literary get sick when people are suffering. I have headaches when some bastards wipe out a village full of women and children on the other side of the world. God, I feel constant discomfort because people are torturing animals, and I do smell the stale content of zillions of their intentions and actions.

I do close my “windows,” though. I am trying to cut myself out of all that. I am running away, living in deserted places, trying to find something that will protect me from people. But, there is no escape! I can lessen the impact of the very existence of so many people, but I can not avoid being in pain due to so much suffering they cause, to themselves and others.

You see, it is not a matter of morality. It is not a matter of compassion. It is a matter of trying to live free from misery!

If U.G. didn’t feel it, then he was one lucky bastard! He felt when he was hungry. He dealt with his everyday affairs efficiently. For others, he advocated that it is only natural to listen to urges and desires and to make themselves happy. It is a mystery to me how he could manage to overlook the overall sensitivity of the enlightened body to the affairs of others.

You have to bear in mind that, even though self-centredness is no longer here (of course, with self gone, there is nothing to be centered on), the body is still human. You and me, we are, just like U.G. was, born humans. That has to make us sensitive to our species. We are monsters, deviated, corrupted, broken, and in every way pitiful creatures. But what can we do now? Death will bring an end to that fact. But if you were gone before the death of the body, and the body is left to itself, what is there to do about it? It cannot become a body of an ant or a dolphin. So, we are stuck with people.

I would rather be stack with something else, but I can not help myself. For some time, I was considering the solution in the form of shapeshifting. But, this ability didn’t come to me naturally. It is hard to achieve (I succeeded only partially) – so hard that it is easier to endure the torture of sensing human affairs than to expose myself to that. It may be the solution to some, but, unfortunately, this body is not among them. I did develop some techniques to dampen the harmful effect that the existence of humanity has on my body – enough for surviving. So for now, I am living with it.

Back to the topic. U.G. was against any actions in the direction of “saving” or “changing” the social status of our world. In the same time, he was taking care of his daily needs, and advocate others to do so (not to abandon or reject some pleasures or urges, etc.). Maybe his calamity, unrepeatable anomaly or genetic mutation, gave him the blindness – or the ability not to feel what others are doing on a global level. That is something we will never know. But, I assure you that enlightened body will feel the impact of everything that is happening around it! It will develop some protection mechanisms, but it is inevitable that at some point after you have gone, your body – and your mind or whatever is left of it – desperately starts looking for a solution for an immediate need: how to get rid of this harmful influence?

It is the same mechanism that will make you run from the tiger looking at you from the bushes. Or, that will make you fight against the tiger if you have a gun.

I don’t have a gun. That fact is pure luck for humanity. You see, when you are under such a pressure because of people stupidity, and there is no escape (I was looking forward that we find a way to go to other planets, but it didn’t happen so far, and it is not likely that it will occur during lifetime of this body), it is only natural that you start to think about how to get rid of them! I would if I could. Honestly. No thinking involved. Nothing at all.

As I said, it is pure luck for humanity that I am in no position to do so. Similar to the shapeshifting idea, an action in that direction would demand from this body much more than enduring the situation like it is.

So, humanity is saved by the economy, at least in my case.

I want to make clear that if I am talking about a better world, changes, disappearance of suffering, and all these things, I am doing so because I have to. I have to avoid being sick and in pain. It is natural for a body to do so. And, it is the only thing left, while I am waiting for this body to cease to exist, and we are all waiting to destroy ourselves.

So, my position is compatible with all humanitarian, compassionate, loving, and kind individuals who are desperately trying to make the world better. I never expected to be in that position, but here I am, or at least it seems so.

U.G. was continually saying that he has no conflict with society. The state of no conflict is possible only if his body was comfortable, And, apparently, it was. Why he was insensitive to the mess humanity made around him, I can’t say. But again, he vas an anomaly. The lucky one, it seems.

For the rest of us, if this impossible thing called enlightenment ever downs in our bodies, this will probably be different. It is impossible to say how each body will react to that situation. Everything is possible: from rising the heavy shields if you have them, and safely and happily hide behind them; through starting the end-of-the-world destructive campaign against everything humanity ever made; up to kind and loving inside-the-heart-revolution which will change us for the better, once and for all.

But, whatever enlightened body will do, it will not be because of the abstract idea of “goodness,” and especially not because of the utterly ridiculous idea of some particular virtues in humanity or its unique position. It will be because, at that moment, for that body, this action will be implied in the situation and thus unavoidable and the only one possible.

***

When you read about the life of U.G., you can not help but wonder. After his calamity (that was the word he used about enlightenment), he continued with his life (in most cases, there are no other options). There were people in that life, and they keep asking him about the enlightenment.

How does it happen? What we can do that enlightenment happens to us?

Ah, what a misunderstanding!

It will not happen to you. The end of you is not a part of you. It is the end of you! Life will go on, but not yours. Just Life.

U.G. correctly understood that nobody wants that. People have no idea what are they talking about when they „wish“ for enlightenment. They think it is a part of spirituality, but the song of spirituality is always the same: it is the song about me. How I can achieve this, how I can accomplish that. It stinks, U.G., stinks all the way up to the sky. But we can not do anything about it. The smell of misunderstandings will always remain the same.

U.G. wanted to turn people off from spirituality and himslef. He was not particularly successful.

He told them: „Whoever is chosen, it will happen to him.“ Pure luck, then. Go home, people. Go home and wait. If you are (un)lucky, the enlightenment will happen. Thus spoke U.G..

But, he had something in him; something that made people come. They had urges, and U.G. attracted them. Usually, when people are the victims of a deceive, they see a false prophet and think he is the real thing. In U.G.’s case, it was vice versa: people saw a false prophet in a real thing! They believed that U.G. would lead then and somehow, anyhow, satisfy their needs. It is no wonder that he chased them out from meetings and lectures. It would be better for them to stay at home and watched television.

It is hard to say if U.G. had problems with people, or he just had fun with them. He was saying that he doesn’t like people, but at the same time, confessed that he never speaks the truth. Well, nobody does.

But the fact is, Maya has an end. It is also a fact that there is a crack in everything; that’s how the light comes in (thank you Leonard) in the dark chamber of the unenlightened human mind. In other words, in spite of strong orientation towards themselves, there are traces of „higher intelligence“ in people. The Reality. The Truth. It sounds unbelievable, but whatever people do to stay blind, in the end, they will see.

And that means they will come. Desperately, they will try to get rid of the illusion, even when their motives are wrong. They will hit the truth with their head, sometimes so hard that they will break it (head, not the truth). But afar that, they will ask for help, heal their wounds, and forget what has happened. People will go into denial, reject, fantasize, build imaginable fortresses, destroy them, suffer, laugh, spin in magic circles for many, many years. But the illusion can not go forever. Maya has an end. Period.

The enlightenment will happen to everyone, not just the unlucky ones.

And here is the space for „doing something.“ It is a kind of a trick. You can not wish yourself into enlightenment. It doesn’t work that way. Anyone sane would not have a wish for „the end of me“. But, there is something in a conscious being, something hidden, pushing us in that direction. Some people are not (yet) aware of that force, and some feel the unexplainable need they can’t resist.

You can not send people home, U.G.. Nobody can. They will not listen. They will come again and again. We are stuck with people.

You got out, but the rest of us will be still here for some time. And while we are here, why don’t push them, at least a little, in the direction of an exit? It will help some of them. And if only one passes through, that is one thorn less in a painful heel. And if few would pass, or god-what-a-luck, many of them, who knows, maybe I would be able to run again without pain!

Would that be wonderful?

Not necessary. In the end, it always comes to the fact that such people do eat. They are also cleaned up and healed if necessary – by others. They may be in the mood of not wanting it – that I understand. Sometimes, this shiny illusion we call the world is just too much. The feeling of tiredness and overwhelmingness prevails. It is only right to stop all this and gracefully die. There are hundreds of people who died that way. Other people saved only some of them. And those saved, become well-known saints.

They are, in the way, pushed forward by Life itself. It was not their wish; it happened that way.

However, it is dubious to think that it always has to be “saved by the people” scenario. Since there is no difference between this body and the body of someone else, there is no difference between this mind and the mind of someone else. The desire to be “saved” and preserved for the world, can come from this mind too.

Regarding „not caring to live“ situation, there are two scenarios. One is that anyone, not enlightened, can fall into the trap of a death wish. The instinct to survive can be overridden by sickness, despair, fear, even love. It is in no way the sign of true enlightenment. Or, in other words, you can not judge enlightenment by that.

The second situation is the enlightenment itself. It seems that enlightened ones do tend to test the will of the Life with complete surrender. It goes like this: “Ok, there is nothing else coming to this mind. Maybe it is time to give up? If it is not, then something will happen.”

And something happens. Or not.

In the first case, you live. In the second case, you die.

Now, you have to understand that enlightened people are always born into some culture. They are born not-enlightened, and then by some struck of the lightning, they become enlightened. Anyway, they are part of that culture.

Ramana Maharishi was born as Venkataramana Ayyar. An Indian. In the year of 1879. You can not expect from him to behave like someone born in America two hundred years before, or in France, a hundred years later.

So, he did what was implicit in his cultural environment. He becomes a sanyasi. As such, it was only logical not to care about the body, thinking that ants may as well eat it. And when it comes to his food… well, he will certainly not do anything to provide it for himself. Dying from hunger was an acceptable option.

He was respected for that. He would be respected even today. Back then, it was a part of Indian collective mind that such things happen: from time to time, a divinity descends upon people. And with such background, what else Venkatarmana could do? It was logical, implicit, and unavoidable.

But, that does not mean that you should do it (you don’t have to do anything specific, of course), or that this is a sign of true enlightenment.

You could stand a mosquitos and ants bites, and you could give them to eat you alive. Probably, it will be a horrible experience, and you will scream and cry and suffer. But, you could even get your self into the state of not feeling the pain and horror of such a destiny. All this would mean nothing and have no connection with enlightenment whatsoever.

It is just scenery.

To continue reading click on Pay 10 (micropayment of 10 XLM). If you are not sure what is these about and how to do it (it is simple), you can found out about SatoshiPay system, Lumen cryptocurrency, and detailed instruction how to use it in the article SATOSHIPAY MICROPAYMENT SYSTEM.

Do unenlightened dream spiritual sheep?

Many devotees had visions of Ramana Maharishi.

Yes, if you stare long enough in someone’s picture, you will have visions too.

If you are immersed in the collective belief that someone is a Bhagavan, a divine incarnation, and if you participate in travels, darshans, visits, thinking, prayers… all directed to that someone, you will have visions too.

People did have visions and dreams of me. And I was not even close to that kind of drama as was Ramana Maharishi. I was just a person who knows something, a lecturer, a writer; a westerner with an aura of something different — spiritual aura, to be precise. People read what I wrote; they saw me when I was speaking; they participated in my courses. And some of them – many of them, but not all – said that I was visiting them in their dreams. Or they saw me somewhere while I was somewhere else, and such things.

I have no recollection of doing astral travels or being in more than one place at once. I always said to such dreamers that it is their dream, their vision, and it has nothing to do with me. Some did get the point, but many didn’t. They kept their belief because it suited them. It was great to have someone special – someone with secret powers, capable of performing miracles. The fact that someone is himself denying and discouraging any attention to such a thing was not relevant to them at all.

As far I can read, Ramana Maharishi also discouraged big fas around it. He knew it is not real – it is a product of a twisted mind. The mind is prone to create an illusion to satisfy his desires. And he will do so whenever the chance occurs.

If you are willing to exploit that tendency, you can play with a practically infinite number of tricks. People will believe in whatsoever. Some “spiritual” figures, “prophets,” gurus and such, are famous for that. They are still worshiped as saints and Bhagavan’s by millions.

It is rubbish. Not worth mentioning.

Oh, God! Give me a normal life!

“However, it does call for consideration that the full outer normality and participation in the daily routine of life which Sri Bhagavan exemplified so perfectly in later years and which he enjoined upon his followers was not possible for himself immediately after the Awakening at his uncle’s house at Madura. The answer is that what had become possible for Sri Bhagavan he by his Grace, makes it possible for those who follow him.” Osborne, Arthur (2012-07-09). The Mind of Ramana Maharshi (Kindle Locations 1155-1158). Jaico Books. Kindle Edition.

Well, you see, young Ramana, awakened, was confused. It was the time for facing the truth. And the truth was so “cruel” to all what he has known, that “all he has known” had to disappear. Or at least, to be withdrawn to oblivion. Again, due to tradition, he was born into, he chose to be silent. And not to care for the body. And not to live “normal.”

When an ordinary person from the West, and the East, hear about such life, it can be frightening. And threatening. It is not something anyone would want.

Not that wanting is essential, but when you look at what Ramana did in later years, you can see that the picture changed. His life was going more by “what people want.” He preaches non-violence. He is religious and advocates spiritual practice. He speaks and has an excellent knowledge of the scriptures (apparently, he had an eidetic memory, according to some). He is Christ-like, which is especially visible in his relationship with his mother.

All in all, he transformed himself in a much more acceptable saint-like figure, without extremes from his youth.

I can only suppose that he decided to give what was possible. So, he lied, and play along the usual line of the spiritual story.

It is like that, or he was not enlightened at all. Just highly developed spiritually.

I am going for enlightened, not because of his powers, life, stories, and status, but because of the words he repeated over and over again, in different situations. Those words may be somewhat different, but they do say the same thing: what enlightenment is, is not experienced by the person at all.

Somehow, with the usual help of goddess Maya, people do not hear the essence. They think only about themselves and what they will achieve when they come to the place Ramana is pointing to. They are getting it wrong.

Very soon, if enlightened one lives, he or she, clearly sees that people are incapable of hearing the truth. If they would be capable, there will be no need of saying it.

So, instead of truth, they are saying something else.

Sounds bad? It is even worse: they live something else.

That is the curse enlightenment brings to this world — a lie. A lie, you can’t believe anymore, but you are forced to live it.

So, when you hear about the life of Ramana Maharishi, you now know what do you hear about.

Just here and there, behind the phrasing suited for the spiritually indoctrinated audience, you can find a finger pointing to the exit. But, it is not the direction anyone wants to look.

Guru business

Consider the question of a Guru. Indians love the idea of surrendering oneself to a living human person who, supposedly, attained the enlightenment. Spiritual seekers from the West adopted that idea, too. There is certain magic in that.

Now, confronted with the prevailing idea of the Guru business, Maharishi Ramana did the only possible thing: he went with the flow and insisted that Guru is necessary.

But he himself didn’t have one! The awakening just happened to him at an early age. Well, he would say, Guru doesn’t need to have a human form. Nicely done, Ramana! All are happy now. Of course, Guru is more than a human – he can be a spiritual being, or even an element – the Universe itself.

Is he a Guru? No, he has no disciples – that was his first answer. Then, after the panic spreads among his devotees, he corrected that statement, not directly but with some sentences here and there. Predictable as they were, they interpreted that correction as: “Don’t worry. I am your Guru. You are safe.”

Pressed to the wall by the doctrine imprinted in the mind of cultural slaves around him, he used what he could, to make as little harm as possible with his words.

Further, you could hear from him that God has no purpose and no meaning in reality. Who is worshiping God, he would ask? Who is the God worshiped? It is the same question as in his vichara – “Who am I?”

Yet, on another occasion, God is everything, the only thing, the One – a synonymous with Self, Being, or the Real. It is all dependent about who was he talking to.

Sometimes, this game can be so funny and with so many layers — for example, the story about grace. When people ask about Grace, they think about something that is given to them, not something that you can earn somehow.

In spite of his constant insisting on meditation, concentration, and other spiritual efforts, Ramana did say firmly that grace of the Guru is the only thing that can give you enlightenment.

This is so Indian, so vedish, and so traditional that no one can say anything against it. But, if the students did listen to what he says on other occasions, they would hear the truth – the only truth per his path.

Enlightenment is not a result of an effort, spiritual or otherwise. The effort brings other consequences; rewards if you want to call them such. Thus, ” grace” is the right term. It just happens, like lightning.

“Guru” can be anything and everything, but it is always the truth – that what is real. Reality strikes you and reaps apart the world of illusion. That is how it happens. Not because you will do something, or live with someone, or serve few or many; not because you will meditate or think or do some austerity, punish yourself or drink gee. It will happen by grace.

You may prepare your self, but this is not how you induce the awakening, and it is not the reason you receive it. Grace is like winning the lottery. However, you can win only if you play. That is what spirituality is for.

Lakshmi, the enlightened cow

Ramana Maharishi had a cow. Her name was Lakshmi. When she was very old, and on her dying shed, he spends her last hours with her. He had held her head against his chick, comfort her, and whispers to her ears. They say she died peacefully.

He ordered for his devotees to bury her body, and set a wooden sculpture – a likeness of her – over her grave. The epitaph was written by Ramana Maharishi himself, stating that she attained moksha – liberation.

Don’t misunderstand me – what Ramana did is not a sign of enlightenment, but it is a sign of a free spirit, the one who is not afraid to look over the form of humanity, and see the same Truth in everything.

A need for a Guru? A living human person as a Guru? It is more likely that you will find it in a cow, or a dog, than in a human person.

When it comes to spirituality, the motives are the same. It is our understanding that we will benefit from some particular procedure, technique or knowledge. We would hopefully become more peaceful or stronger; more creative, successful or attractive, and that evidently means happier. Of course, from time to time, we find out that we were seduced by false promises, or we just change our approach, the way we think, the teacher we believe in… But, all in all, the principle behind spiritual activity is the same as for anything else in our life.

In the book ‘The Elimination of Karma Factor’ I wrote about the “human condition”, spiritual maturity and absolute freedom, explaining the difference between these three “stages”. Among others, the difference is in the motivation behind action in the human condition and spiritual maturity, in comparison with the motivation behind absolute freedom.

One of the strangest moments marking the beginning of the end of the spiritual path (see the article ‘Omnes Viae Romam Non Ducunt’) is the unusual attraction to absolute freedom while our life is still following the old ways of human condition, spiritual maturity or some mix of the two. It is an unexplainable phenomenon we cannot fit into our present way of thinking. In the beginning, it makes us wonder: we ask ourselves why we have such thoughts when we do not know what absolute freedom is all about. We cannot define what it is exactly we are attracted to. In time, the wonder turns into a yearning we cannot explain, blended with some kind of shudder or even fear. In the end, the yearnings transform themselves into complete one-pointedness, a kind of monomania. Still without explanation, we know that nothing else matters apart from finding the way out of the situation we find ourselves in.

The readiness for the final deconstruction of the illusion comes down to knowing the answer to the question why we would do such a thing. If you know the answer, or you don’t ask that question at all, because you know that any alternative is worse, then you are ready. If you ask “why”, and you expect an appropriate explanation, it is not your time yet – it is better to wait.

In principle, I could end the story about motivation right here: the one who understands, understands. However, due to the frequency of the questioning of the purpose and the meaning of absolute freedom, with the side intention to remove any mystical connotation from the readiness for enlightenment, I will answer, as far as it is possible, the following question:

Why look in the direction of the “end of spiritual path” at all? Why aspire for enlightenment; why deconstruct the illusion and live absolute freedom? What is the meaning and the purpose of that, and what we will accomplish with it? 

The answers are actually simple: there is no reason for that wish; its fulfilment is not meaningfully connected with anything we do in life, so we can rightfully say we will accomplish nothing.

If you want to soften the blow of unconditionality and non-causality of absolute freedom, you could say that the best things in life have no cause, nor do they have any purpose besides themselves. They come by themselves and they lead nowhere but to themselves. Love is the example of such “purposelessness”. If you see the cause and the reason for love… hey, are you sure you are talking about love?

However, the comparison between the absolute freedom of enlightenment and love, even an unconditional one, is just a comparison. If nothing, love will create in you that warm, comprehensive feeling of loveliness, peace and content. Thus, love is not outside the reach of reasonable doubt that we are dealing with the need. And needs have causes. This is why there is so much controversy about “unconditional love”. This would be the love you feel independently from you own needs. No matter what you want, you give that love to another person without conditions, whatever happens, whatever she feels or gives back. If you have ever felt such a love (few have) then you know that it creates some kind of contentment inside you, too. That contentment can cause the need for creating the feeling of unconditional love again, and again. Spiritual people often satisfy that need in religion, because it is hard to find it among people.

However, in absolute freedom there is not even that small trace of personal interest. Simply, there is nothing to hang on and say: “I want this because of this and that.”

However, in spite of that, the will for absolute freedom appears. It came by itself. At first it sneaks among our thoughts like a thief in the night. Sometimes we feel its presence, but mostly we are not aware of it. After some time it appears loud and clear in a form of “confinement insight”; the comprehension about our own imprisonment in the patterns of thoughts and behavior. The exit is not to be found anywhere. In the book ‘The Elimination of Karma Factor’ I wrote about this extensively. The following paragraph is just a reminder:

We tacitly accept the confinement, even if we master the skill of reprogramming ourselves, because, each and every act in that direction is guided with at least one explainable why and because. We know what we want (on the basis of our assessment of useful, good or whatever makes us happy). But why we want it (meaning why our assessment is such and not otherwise), is not known to us. It will never be known, even in freedom – especially in freedom. But with karmic loops present, it is knowable – everything comes down to them, meaning we are just programmable puppets. We are seemingly following our own desires, but they are actually the predictable result of karmic loops. This is the worst form of enslavement – the one in which the slave thinks that he/she is free, but still does everything according to the wishes of his/her invisible masters.

All in all – somewhere along the path, after we have tried each and every thing, in the midst of many attempts and failures, fulfilling the desires, following the longings of the heart and soul, worldly and spiritual, we suddenly find ourselves facing that huge inapprehensibility we can think of only as freedom. Whatever illusions we had, they have their end. At that end, at the moment of the falling apart of the construction we believed in, we see something; something  impalpable, unspeakable, disconnected from us, far away but still here, right in front of our eyes and heart. We don’t want it. We didn’t ask for it. We strive for the fulfilment of our desires, and not for that; that huge all-pervasive abstraction, which can turn itself into just anything in a blink of an eye, which can swallow us and disperse us all over the universe as if we never existed. The scariest thing is that we know – we know for sure – that it will happen just like that, only if we move a little bit closer.

If you ask for the meaning and reasons for enlightenment, your question is misplaced. Nobody ever stepped into absolute freedom because they wanted it, and especially not because they saw some purpose in it.

But, when you gradually slip closer to it, you understand more and more that you don’t feel well at the place you are now; you experience it as a prison made from your own needs and desires. You are choking, shriveling. Even if you become the most successful and happiest person in the world (according to any criterion you can think of), you would still be just a prisoner. And that situation, that thought about imprisonment, you can bear each day less and less. When the flood comes to your throat, just before it will enter your mouth and lungs, you understand that you have to step over it. It is not because you want it (how can you want it when you don’t know what is ahead; you don’t understand it and you never will) but because anything is better than remaining in the prison.

But, please, remember: if you didn’t already know and understand what is written above, you don’t understand it now either. You’ve just received the information. However, it may help you one day, when your time comes.

***

Previous articles (summer 2016):
Endlessness is a myth
Omnes viae Romam non ducunt

More or less, the “question” goes like this:

Isn’t it true that all spiritual paths lead to the same place? They have the same goal, don’t they? They may look different, but in the end they will take you to the mountain peak.

Well, honestly, I have no idea how to start pointing out the mistaken views behind such statements. Usually, I don’t react, because every reaction would include a lot of annoying corrections. However, since I have cornered myself into it, I have to do it now.

All right then… the idea that all spiritual paths lead to the same place is like the Latin saying that “all roads lead to Rome”. What does it actually mean? Is it literary true? It may have been true during Antiquity, when Rome was the only city positioned in the center of a network of roads. Later on, the saying became an idiom: if in spite of everything you do, the result will be the same, then all roads do lead to Rome. Of course, sometimes it happens like that. But in most cases, all the roads are not the same and they do not end up at the same point.

Let’s say that you are looking for the path to enlightenment (this is an analogy, do not take me literary), and let’s say, that would be the path to Rome. You are at a certain place of your life and spiritual journey (you are not enlightened), and let’s say that would be like staying in Zürich, Switzerland. You want to go to Rome and you ask for guidance or at least for signposts to make your way to the goal. What would you think if someone says to you: “It is all the same. Just take one road and go. In the end all roads lead to the same place.”

You would not be suspicious? And you really would drive to the first crossroads and head east, towards Vienna, Austria (because you just happen to like the sound of the name), totally convinced that all roads lead to Rome?

In practice, all roads do not lead to Rome, unless you take into account the fact that somewhere near Vienna, you will finally see that you are driving in the wrong direction and have to turn back if you want to visit Rome. Well, it is true: spiritually, in whichever direction we drive, at some point we will understand that and turn towards Rome. Everyone will get to that point, even if, in good faith, they drove all the way east to Moscow, and then turned back.

In that sense, and only in that sense, the saying Omnes Viae Romam Ducunt is true for enlightenment. But that is of no consolation when tired, disappointed and lost, you have to drive back a thousand miles or more – which, in this case, means to empty your mind of thousands of mistaken but obstinant convictions you acquired along the way.

All in all, there are roads leading to enlightenment, but there are also those that lead in the opposite direction.

***

What about spiritual authorities? Do they agree about the goal? Do they all speak about the same thing, just using different words?

Honestly, I don’t know. I would not dare to judge what they are all talking about. It is enough hard to determine what one of them is talking about, let alone what to say about all of them! It is not possible to know, but for some reasons people are prone to conclude that spirituality is all about the same thing.

What I do know, first hand, is that spirituality is a universe apart, containing within itself a vast number of experiences. For example, you may experience some inner vision, or an oceanic feeling of transfusing with everything, or a deep ecstasy, an unbelievable calmness, a separation of spirit from the body, a lively understanding of the future, a healing energy experience, a deep compassion and empathy with everyone, a creative elation during which all limitations disappear, a magical fulfilment of desires… and so much more. It is clear that all these experiences are different, isn’t it? And there are lots of them awaiting. Separate. Different.

In general, due to all kind of reasons, people are spiritually undereducated. They do not have discriminative abilities for that area of life. This is understandable, because most of us were not exposed to such experiences, or to the information about them. When the experience comes by itself, we desperately seek explanations and we usually accept what is given, or what we like as an explanation.

A non-discriminative dredge approach, where a scalpel is needed, results in “it is all the same” statements.

The Buddhist nirvana, isn’t it the same as the yogic samadhi? Tantric orgasm, isn’t it the same as zen satori? Religious rapture and the dancing ecstasy? Didn’t Shankara speak about the same truth as Mohamed? Astrology, kabala, peyote, Mayan or Egyptian rituals, Christianity and Islam, don’t they all speak about the same goal and lead us to the same place?

You should have your eyes and your mind firmly shut out if you want to answer those questions affirmatively. And that affirmative answer would be the result of your desire that it is really so. In turn, that desire is the result of unwillingness to face the reality alone, without the protection of any concept or belief.

The majority (the large majority) of spiritual authorities speak about various spiritual experiences. Some of them do speak about the same things, some about different things. On the whole they have in common the fact of NOT speaking about enlightenment. It is of course confusing that, while doing that, they use the word “enlightenment”, when actually describing some specific spiritual experience and their methods for attaining it. For the unenlightened it is hard to discriminate what is what. Spiritual experiences are attractive to everyone; enlightenment is a puzzle to most, even to spiritual authorities. The general confusion is hooded by salutary equalization: “they all speak about the same thing “. Even if you forget the fact that most of these speakers do not know the difference between spiritual experiences and enlightenment – so, by far they are unable to speak about it – spiritual equalization is another myth we should dispose of.

Really, next time when you find yourself in a car, a plane or a train, try any direction, any road, and you will see that you will not end up in Rome. Every path leads to some other place, some other city. As for Rome… well, some roads do lead there – a few of them maybe, but surely not all of them.

***

Previous articles (summer 2016):
Endlessness is myth

Next article:
Why choose absolute freedom

In the next few articles I will write about the frequently asked questions. They reveal the critical points, almost invisible mistakes in understanding whereby the illusion creeps among the troops of its supposed enemies thus turning them into its followers.

To say it loud and clear – there is a huge difference between what I am saying and the content of most spiritual teachings. Sometimes, it is even a matter of opposites. To see what I am pointing at, you will have to turn your head (your mind, actually) in the opposite direction.

All right, let’s take the first question – the one that pops up almost everywhere.

How can you be sure that what are you talking about – enlightenment – is really the end of the road? Maybe, it is just another step in the development of the soul, after which there is another, and another…

To see the answer to that question you have to reconsider the direction you are heading in. In principle, the answer is very simple, but the difficulty in seeing it lies in the tendency of ours to look at spirituality as being equal and the same as any other activity of human life.

We are used to seeing life as a kind of climb up a ladder, constantly learning and creating something new. No doubt, life is about that. First, we have to learn how to walk to be able to learn how to run or climb a mountain. We gather different skills and develop abilities while building the construction of our life. That construction grows in different directions, sometimes with purpose and meaning, sometimes without it. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes we experience great difficulties. But, whatever our experience of life may be, there is no doubt that the future relies on the past. We build our life like a giant jigsaw, hoping that the final picture will make some sense and that we will have a feeling that the effort was worthwhile.

Some people at certain point in their life stumble upon spirituality and include it in their jigsaw. Sometimes, they start from self-help, working on themselves, improving their abilities or, if they are more spiritually ambitious, trying to develop higher states of consciousness (whatever that means). Spiritual insights become a part of the same building. They dig deeper, revealing otherwise inaccessible knowledge and giving otherwise unknown experiences.

In that picture, where is the place for an “end”? From where does the idea that the process ends somewhere come – that there is some kind of “goal” after which the path is no more?

It is difficult to imagine such a finale. To restrict the possibility of development requires a mass of bold assumptions and unprovable beliefs, most likely connected to some kind of “higher force” or intelligence, which from the standpoint of reasons unknown to us, declared the end line for human possibilities. Without that encroachment into believing, is there any reason to think that development has an end?

On a material level, the one in the domain of science, as well as on an inner level, usually in the custody of spirituality, there should be no reasons for limitations. The endlessness of growing towards something larger, biger and better is almost guaranteed.

All right then, why is Patrick talking about something (enlightenment, liberation, moksha) which is supposed to be the end of the path? Isn’t it logical that after the enlightenment there is some other level, some other point to reach?

It would be logical, yes, if enlightenment would belong to the same category as other experiences; if it would be something we achieve after some learning or work has been finished. Luckily, it is not so. Enlightenment is on the other side of the spectrum, in the place where you are not looking when you look forward, in the direction of your own development.

Enlightenment is not something you can achieve; it is something you already are.

And if it is so, where do you have to look to see it? Forward, in the direction of endless possibilities that you can enjoy only if you do this or that, or backwards, in the direction of the place you started from?

How many possibilities are there for that place? If you started from point ‘A’ and now you are at point ‘G’, obviously, you can continue to point ‘L’, ‘S’, ‘Y’ or maybe back to point ‘C’, or in circles, small and large, wherever the path may lead you. But, if you follow the path backwards, where will you arrive? Only to the place where you began. One place. That place. You cannot go further back.

If the spiritual path is defined as the return to the origin, then that path has its ending – the point of the origin. If you are looking in the other direction, forward, you may end up anywhere, and continue forever. There is your endlessness. If you are into constructions, there is no limit to their number, size, meaning, incidence, grasp, range, deepness, quality or any other attribute you may think of.

However, if you are going in the direction of deconstruction, there is only one place you may end up: the beginning, the origin, the basic element every construction supports itself with.

Today’s spirituality is a complex set of variegated information, knowledge and methods. 99% of that (even more, actually) fits nicely into the scheme of endless development and the discovery of new worlds (outer and inner). Only one small, almost imperceptible portion, deals with enlightenment.

Don’t misunderstand me, I have nothing against development. Quite the contrary, the creative process is exceptionally dear to me. Learning something new is one of my most cherished pastimes, no matter the field. The thing is, however, that out there a very deep misconception about the role of spirituality in human life prevails. Or, to put it another way, if spirituality is just one of the streams in creating new constructions and life stories, then the path towards enlightenment would not be the part of it. It would be literary contra-spiritual.

However, the more likely explanation is that the meaning of spirituality has become distorted with time. Without true answers and signposts, spirituality has drowned in the common structure of the picture of life. Do not forget that in its roots, spirituality was about the search for the source, for the foundations of life. No matter where and when you live, no matter the circumstances of your life, your experiences, knowledge and skills…. enlightenment can be here. Or not.

That path, the path towards that goal, has its end. The story about endlessness in that direction is just a myth.

***

Next article (summer 2016):
Omnes viae Romam non ducunt

Life is about freedom.

There is not a slightest trace of doubt in my mind that every healthy and conscious human being on this planet would consider his or her freedom as an essential value of life worth living. We all strive for freedom. We all want to be free.

However, it is a sad fact that we are not.

To be sure, I am not talking about freedom of moving around unrestrictedly, wherever our legs, wheels or sails take us. I am not talking about freedom of thinking, speaking or believing, either. Nor am I talking about all kinds of superficial desire-come-true ideas of freedom, as they are, I am sure, present in those sweet daydreaming moments that we all enjoy so much.

Well, to correct myself briefly, in a way, this is partially what I do actually have in mind when I set myself up for writing about freedom. Because, sadly again, the majority of us are not free that way, either. Oh, how much do we need that basic manifestation of freedom! Too often we bleed for being different; we suffer greatly for having our own ideas; we are subjected, expelled, tortured and killed, for even trying to live our lives freely.

Don’t misunderstand me, please. I will write, shout, sing, dance, pray, demonstrate… I will even gladly go onto the barricades with you, if necessary, to protect the basic human (and equally non-human) rights for freedom as understood in this restless society of ours.

However, this is just not my thing; not my real topic. It could be discussed, however, and it will be discussed throughout this book, how the real Freedom (let’s put a capital ‘F’ on freedom, just for the moment, before I explain myself fully) influences all these human endeavors for fulfilling everyday needs and desires.

So many great nobles, things, administrations,
so many high chieftains, so many brave nations,
so many proud princes, and power so splendid;
In a moment, a twinkling, all utterly ended.
– Da Todi Jacopone

So, what is it that I am trying to talk about? What kind of “freedom”?

If I say it is “freedom of the mind” it will be a cliché. And, worse than that, the average reader will probably misunderstand me immediately, even before I begin to lay out my case. Possible differences in comprehension may include the ideas such as “having an open mind”, accepting differences, tolerance, empathy, creativity or even plain curiosity.

All right, freedom is all of that; it includes all the personal traits that make our lives interesting and… human. So, while dealing with real freedom, you can count on enjoying all these positive sprouts of the freedom-aspiring mind, which will make your life fuller, richer and on all counts and in any measure, worth living. However, note that this does not include adjectives like “happier” or “easier”. Those fruits are not necessary growing on the tree of freedom. They might grow, though, so it is all right to have high hopes.

Unwillingly, I have stumbled quite quickly upon the freedom searching controversy. It is my intention to reveal it to you fully, in all its confusing glory, as the book advances. But, here it is, in plain sight, at the very beginning of the search. You want freedom, or at least, you say so. And you think so, right? You certainly think that freedom is your goal, that you deserve it and that it is your right, by human birth, to have it, no matter if it is a social freedom or some more elusive inner stuff.

However, are you fully aware of what freedom will bring you? Are you aware of the full spectrum of consequences of living freely?

I propose that you are not. Don’t hate me for that, and please, don’t be offended. It is a matter of the human condition to have difficulties with understanding the full meaning of freedom. And you are human, as am I, so together we are facing one tremendously mysterious puzzle.

We want freedom so badly. Some of us are ready to die for it (I was, for one; and I did, in a matter of speaking). But, we actually don’t know what it is and how it will affect and change our lives. And, it will change us – in all kinds of unimaginable ways that you have every right to look forward to. But, if you are wise, at least just a little bit, you will at the same time be afraid of those changes.

I will explain all of that later, and I hope you will see very clearly why I have made such an introduction. The search for freedom is one of the most dangerous, but at the same time the most true and completely unavoidable adventures of every human being. If we are not going in that direction, we may as well be dead. Physically, we may be living, but in every other meaning of the word – psychologically, spiritually, humanly – we are just corpses.

Strong words, I know, but I am not hesitating to use them. I have more of them in store, this is just the beginning. If you are not able to take them as a realistic description of the situation of non-freedom-striving person, you will probably have great difficulties to understand the rest of this book. So, it is better to be clear about that at this early stage of the “your-thoughts-meeting-my-thoughts” process on the pages to come.

The freedom I am intending to write about is the deep, absolute, unconditional and acausal freedom embedded in our own consciousness. It is a basic ingredient of our existence, and thus, it is not something we have to achieve or create, but more likely something we have to remember and re-create; manifest and practice, as we go along where life takes us.

***