It is a mess down there, and although it is sometimes lonely up here, I am glad I left the crowdedness of the human condition.

I am still here, trying to explain this view and how to find it. Some even listen. It is not that I care or that my explanation will change anything for the world. But the few might leave, just as I did. Funny enough, after some time, those leavers will stand in the same place, looking back and down on their previous lives, wondering how that was even possible. Were they really a part of this crazy circus, singing their songs as they should, like puppets in someone else’s play?

You believe that many things are an illusion, but you are all right because, whatever happens, you will survive; you are in control, and if sometimes you aren’t, that is just a temporary mistake. You’ll get it right next time; you’ll be victorious, and Life will obey your commands.

But the reality is the opposite of your mirror-like vision of it. Everything is; Life is, and the path is, but you… You are just a leaf in the wind.

Sounds terrible? Sounds pessimistic?
Again, you are wrong: that is the best news you heard in your whole Life. Some time will pass before you understand it entirely, but when you do, you will bow your head, and Life – the real one – will rejoice and celebrate.

Inner peace is independent of outer things because it is… well, inner. It doesn’t matter what surrounds you. It matters what is inside you.

And, as for “war”, I always remember one teaching from another time and another place, when a prince finds himself on the edge of an epic battle. He asked for divine guidance because he could not reconcile the outer events with his ethics, upbringing, and humanity. Instead of an explanation of what is right and what is wrong, he received a powerful lesson about inner peace.

So, remember, there is only one war going on already for a long, long time. It is a war between You and the Universe. Utterly unnecessary and utterly hopeless war with just one possible ending. And guess what? Universe did not start it. You did.

Just like that, you can end it, anytime, anyplace.

Some politicians (and governments) in Europe shamelessly connect sexual violence over children (pedophilia) and different sexual or gender orientations. Interestingly enough, they are closely connected to the catholic church, which has profound problems with pedophilia among their priests as an organization.

The irony is worst because they call upon the naturality of heterosexual orientation. That is nonsense due to two main reasons. First, it is natural that the minority do not feel a strong connection between the body they are born with, and inner processes, emotions, wishes and tendencies (however you want to call it). This situation is not connected with ideology, social circumstances and upbringing. If it were, then conservative families would be spared from homosexuality (or anything that is different from standard heterosexuality). And we know that is not the case. Differences appear where they appear – naturally and independently from the influences of the environment t. The only thing we cultivate through upbringing is should we develop acceptance of differences in such a child and other children, or should we weave in children’s soul shame, guilt, judgment, and hatred.

And the second thing natural to humans is curiosity and a tendency for exploration. Independently from reproduction, sexuality is also a means of communication, the field of pleasure and – not to forget – the place rich in extraordinary strong and deep spiritual and transformative experiences. Aby restriction related to that is harmful because it is – unnatural! You can not prohibit the exploration of possibilities and capabilities to a human being. Or, you can, but if you do such a thing, the result will be denial and suppression of desires, many times erupting in violence and true deviation (as we can see happening in repressive ideologies like Catholic and pedophilic priests).

There is no such thing as LGBT propaganda. There is only the truth about humanity that should not be silenced. When backward-looking ideologies are spreading through Europe faster than a virus, Gay Pride manifestations (like the one held today in Zagreb, Croatia) are utterly important. My full support.

Today, we witness the almost monstrous need for positive emotions. People think that is the key to eliminate all their problems. Such thinking is mostly misguided. If you try to build the inner peace on top of something (on top of positive emotions, love, or anything momentarily popular on the spiritual market), you will actually lose it. You will temporarily live an illusion of peace, which will disappear sooner or later. The deeper and stronger you were involved in building the mirage of inner peace on positivity, your fall will be harder and more painful.

This workshop is a part of a larger project – the NLF Debox Program. The idea came after my book „Breaking True“ was published. When completed, the NLF Debox will have 7 to 9 separate albums and a smartphone and computer streaming application for listening to NLF readings. I will probably need a year or two to finish all this, but the net result should be fascinating.

Some 40 people from Croatia and Slovenia participated in the workshop in Ljubljana. Until now, I preferred a retreat format for such work, but the results were more than satisfying. In a short time, we have gone very far, in knowledge and experience, as well.

I was surprised by some parts of NLF readings. When I was writing the texts, the words were flowing out effortlessly. Many times I didn’t even read them twice. So, I had a new chance to feel the power of NLF while reading it. You can almost see how ordinary reality is falling apart, and its pieces are rearranging themselves in something new and exciting.

I want to dedicate more time to the NLF project and finish it as soon as possible. It is worth all my effort.

In the meantime, I will share with you one small part of the NLF reading for mitigation of one of the most potent karmic loops – the need for a purpose.

I will be an adventurer, explorer, and a wanderer.
I will be a passionate lover and a poet of dark places.

Like a restless Sea, my entrails will swing in fear
while I stare in the jaws of a sleeping beast.

 

I will pause, here and there, but not for long.
To catch my breath, to rest my tired knees.
Even then, in the broken sleep disturbed by sighs,
I’ll dream about distant shores and unknown lovers.

 

I don’t want to live just one life.
I want many lives; each different, each it’s own.
I’m afraid to lose my certainty, but more so,
I’m scared to lose my uncertainty.

 

Change is the sweet heart of pleasure and the sprout of uneasiness.
Change is both the Flower of Truth and the Seed of a Lie.

 

“What is it with you people? Why do you think that God created you in his image? What about us? You think he lost his touch, so he made a mistake with all others?

I was silent on my small boat, while he was very busy jumping around, in spite of his serious words.

“And”, he said suddenly appearing from the turquoise water below, ” why you think this planet is yours to rule upon it? Your God said to you that meek will inherit the Earth? Well, setting aside the impossible thing of inheritance of something which is not yours in the first place, I see just one way for you to become meek and really listen to your God.”

Now, he got all my attention. “How?” I was asking the blue emptiness because Chyarr was swimming somewhere deep.

A couple of minutes later, he came back and said: “Shrink. Be really humble and meek. Return what you have taken and what is not yours. Live together with us. Your destiny is not in numbers but in the quality of your mind and spirit.”

And then he disappeared.

The end of the spiritual path is marked by attraction to absolute freedom while our life is still following the old ways of the human condition.

 

When it ends; when you are really out of the picture, there is no telling in what direction life will take whatever there is left from you: your body, your mind, and your heart, not yours anymore, but still here, still present like a drop in the ocean of consciousness.

 

You will not know, but the knowledge will be here: life is consciousness, and there is nothing else but consciousness. You were that, and everything you experienced was that. And now, when you are just a remembrance of a shadow, all that is left is consciousness.

But you are not among those. You can not, dare not, because you could not stand it.

You could not devote every single day to food, clothes, and warmth. Even if you add to that your position, reputation and everything others think about you, you could not. It is not eating that matters for you, but flight.

You are not an ordinary gull. You belong to the nonexistent flock of those who every day, maybe somewhat lonely, seek the perfection in each and every move of their wings.

Life is about freedom.

There is not a slightest trace of doubt in my mind that every healthy and conscious human being on this planet would consider his or her freedom as an essential value of life worth living. We all strive for freedom. We all want to be free.

However, it is a sad fact that we are not.

To be sure, I am not talking about freedom of moving around unrestrictedly, wherever our legs, wheels or sails take us. I am not talking about freedom of thinking, speaking or believing, either. Nor am I talking about all kinds of superficial desire-come-true ideas of freedom, as they are, I am sure, present in those sweet daydreaming moments that we all enjoy so much.

Well, to correct myself briefly, in a way, this is partially what I do actually have in mind when I set myself up for writing about freedom. Because, sadly again, the majority of us are not free that way, either. Oh, how much do we need that basic manifestation of freedom! Too often we bleed for being different; we suffer greatly for having our own ideas; we are subjected, expelled, tortured and killed, for even trying to live our lives freely.

Don’t misunderstand me, please. I will write, shout, sing, dance, pray, demonstrate… I will even gladly go onto the barricades with you, if necessary, to protect the basic human (and equally non-human) rights for freedom as understood in this restless society of ours.

However, this is just not my thing; not my real topic. It could be discussed, however, and it will be discussed throughout this book, how the real Freedom (let’s put a capital ‘F’ on freedom, just for the moment, before I explain myself fully) influences all these human endeavors for fulfilling everyday needs and desires.

So many great nobles, things, administrations,
so many high chieftains, so many brave nations,
so many proud princes, and power so splendid;
In a moment, a twinkling, all utterly ended.
– Da Todi Jacopone

So, what is it that I am trying to talk about? What kind of “freedom”?

If I say it is “freedom of the mind” it will be a cliché. And, worse than that, the average reader will probably misunderstand me immediately, even before I begin to lay out my case. Possible differences in comprehension may include the ideas such as “having an open mind”, accepting differences, tolerance, empathy, creativity or even plain curiosity.

All right, freedom is all of that; it includes all the personal traits that make our lives interesting and… human. So, while dealing with real freedom, you can count on enjoying all these positive sprouts of the freedom-aspiring mind, which will make your life fuller, richer and on all counts and in any measure, worth living. However, note that this does not include adjectives like “happier” or “easier”. Those fruits are not necessary growing on the tree of freedom. They might grow, though, so it is all right to have high hopes.

Unwillingly, I have stumbled quite quickly upon the freedom searching controversy. It is my intention to reveal it to you fully, in all its confusing glory, as the book advances. But, here it is, in plain sight, at the very beginning of the search. You want freedom, or at least, you say so. And you think so, right? You certainly think that freedom is your goal, that you deserve it and that it is your right, by human birth, to have it, no matter if it is a social freedom or some more elusive inner stuff.

However, are you fully aware of what freedom will bring you? Are you aware of the full spectrum of consequences of living freely?

I propose that you are not. Don’t hate me for that, and please, don’t be offended. It is a matter of the human condition to have difficulties with understanding the full meaning of freedom. And you are human, as am I, so together we are facing one tremendously mysterious puzzle.

We want freedom so badly. Some of us are ready to die for it (I was, for one; and I did, in a matter of speaking). But, we actually don’t know what it is and how it will affect and change our lives. And, it will change us – in all kinds of unimaginable ways that you have every right to look forward to. But, if you are wise, at least just a little bit, you will at the same time be afraid of those changes.

I will explain all of that later, and I hope you will see very clearly why I have made such an introduction. The search for freedom is one of the most dangerous, but at the same time the most true and completely unavoidable adventures of every human being. If we are not going in that direction, we may as well be dead. Physically, we may be living, but in every other meaning of the word – psychologically, spiritually, humanly – we are just corpses.

Strong words, I know, but I am not hesitating to use them. I have more of them in store, this is just the beginning. If you are not able to take them as a realistic description of the situation of non-freedom-striving person, you will probably have great difficulties to understand the rest of this book. So, it is better to be clear about that at this early stage of the “your-thoughts-meeting-my-thoughts” process on the pages to come.

The freedom I am intending to write about is the deep, absolute, unconditional and acausal freedom embedded in our own consciousness. It is a basic ingredient of our existence, and thus, it is not something we have to achieve or create, but more likely something we have to remember and re-create; manifest and practice, as we go along where life takes us.

***